A Guide for Friends and Families:
Helping Students in Emotional Distress

Many college students encounter academic, personal, and social stress during their educational experience.  Most students cope successfully with the demands of college life and the interpersonal experiences that go along with it.  For some students these difficulties can become overwhelming and unmanageable.

Roommates, Teammates, and Family members are frequently in the most direct position to identify students in distress.  Moreover, students often perceive friends or family as the first point of contact in obtaining advice and support.  Your expression of interest and concern may be critical in helping a student reestablish the emotional equilibrium to get back on track.
 
This guide is designed to assist you in working with a friend or child in distress.  SU Wellness Center is available for further consultation.     

Recognizing Distressed Students

A referral for counseling can be made when you believe a friend is in real need of someone with expertise or when you feel uncomfortable helping a student with an issue. 

At one time or another, everyone feels upset.  However, when some of the following are present, your friend is probably in distress:

Behavioral Changes

  • Suddenly becoming much quieter or more aggressive, withdrawing
  • A negative change in class, athletics or club activities
  • Missed meetings/lunches/plans
  • Repeated absences from class, athletic practice, work, clubs or other important activities
  • Disorganized or erratic performance

Physical Changes

  • Lack of personal hygiene
  • Decrease in Physical Appearance
  • Excessive fatigue
  • Visible changes in weight
  • Seems to be bleary-eyed, or smelling of alcohol
  • Sleeping much more or less
  • Lack of or greatly increased appetite

Personality Changes

  • Direct statements indicating distress, family problems, or other difficulties
  • Unprovoked anger or hostility
  • Irritability, constant anxiety
  • Exaggerated personality traits: more withdrawn or more animated than usual
  • Excessive dependency
  • Constant sadness, tearfulness
  • Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness

Safety Risk Changes

  • Any written note or verbal statement which has a sense of finality or a suicidal flavor to it
  • Talking about or focusing on despair, suicide, or death
  • Severe depression
  • Statements to the effect that the student is "going away for a long time"
  • Giving away of prized possessions
  • Self-injury or self-destructive behaviors
  • Threats against other people
  • Any other behavior which seems out of control

Other Factors to Consider

  • Personal losses, such as death of a family member or loved one, break-up of a relationship, failures in class or athletics, rejection
  • Expressions of concern about your friend by other friends/teammates/club members
  • A hunch or gut-level reaction on your part that something is wrong

Any one of the above signs present in a friend or child does not ABSOLUTELY indicate they’re in serious distress; however, when multiple signs above are present a referral might be needed.  Many disturbances during college are relatively transient.  However, you may become alarmed by changes, which are extreme, or by significant changes that last longer than is typical.  If there is doubt about the seriousness of the problem, consult a Wellness Staff member.

How Do You Make a Referral?

IF YOU BELIEVE THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, PLEASE DON’T WAIT.  CALL CAMPUS SECURITY AT 443-352-4500 OR x. 4500 IMMEDIATELY, OR REFER TO THE EMERGENCY PROCEDURE LINK ON OUR WEBSITE. 

When you think a student will benefit from counseling, please encourage them to contact the Wellness Center.  Express your recommendation in a matter-of-fact manner.  Keep the discussion informal, but gear the concern towards their health.  Try to just be supportive and not take offense if they become upset with you.